Toastmasters – Project#4/Humorous Speech- How to Say It

Toastmasters International Speech #4: How to Say It
Executive Summary
Words are powerful. They convey your message and influence the audience and its perception of you. Word choice and arrangement need just as much attention as speech organization and purpose. Select clear, accurate, descriptive and short words that best communicate your ideas and arrange them effectively and correctly. Every word should add value, meaning, and punch to the speech 
  • Select the right words and sentence structure to communicate your ideas clearly, accurately and vividly.
  • Use rhetorical devices to enhance and emphasize ideas.
  • Eliminate jargon and unnecessary words. Use correct grammar.
  • TIME: Five to seven minutes.
I gave my 4th speech “How to Say It” as a contestant in humorous speech contest on 03-Oct-2013. Humorous speech is the most difficult speech.  Finally, I was able to draft the following speech. 
How many of you like ghost stories?

How many of would like to hear ghost stories experienced by your loved ones?

Well, for me and my cousins, this has been our favorite past-time ever. One such scary movie spoof happened way back on a night 2 days before my cousin – Nikku Bahiya marriage. After a day full of pre-marital ceremonies, we headed back to home and changed into something more comfortable yet glittery attires. Why? The most awaited DJ session was about to start in 2-3 hours at their own roofing in Munirka. Like always, we danced like no one was looking. Had all our jija ji’s standing in middle while their sister in laws danced around them on the tune of – “Any guesses?” come-on. It’s such a famous song among sister in laws…

“JIja tu kala mein gori ghani!” 

Next it was grooms turn to be embarrassed on another dance number  – You guys have to guess this one –  “Tenu ghodi kine chadaya – bhutni ke!” May be this was the moment which triggered out next agenda over the night.

Celebration of girls came to an end at 1:30 am when the groom’s friends had enough of drinking and could not wait to hit the dance floor.

We made way for them and looked around places to sleep. Everyone got some place except me and 4 of other cousins. Finally, we got some mattress and grabbed the drawing room. After we were all set to start dreaming, the youngest one spoke, Gudia didi, have you listened to the ghost stories from Sonia didi? I replied – “I have heard maximum of them.” Other one said – “Didi please narrate 1 or 2 of them. Good ones.” This youngest girl popped up suddenly and gave the idea – “Didi, tell them the flight stew-ward story you told me that day.” Sonia is an airhostess and most talented one to build ghost stories on any one. I warned them – “Kids, go to sleep. Believe me, it’s not your cup of tea.” After some hesitation, she told us that once they returned from a flight and a man came to flight stew-ward and told him “Excuse me! Do see that lady sitting on the sofa? She is my wife. I need to leave urgently. Can you please get her some medicine? She has a severe headache. “The flight steward thought “Ok! Another husband wife who had a fight in the morning. Normal husband wife head bashing syndrome” Finally, he politely agreed. But when he gave the pills to lady, she asked him how he knew that she had a headache. He told her that her husband told him do so. To this, she was very surprised and said – ‘Heaven’s Sake!! I am waiting for his dead body to arrive from this flight!” The flight steward was jaw dropped and almost fainted.

There was a pin drop silence for few seconds. Well, I was quite older than rest and I knew her, so i was not that scared. Then, the session continued and we hear one more story ho Vicky bahiya escaped a night full of ghosts by placing god’s statues around him and enchantinghanuman chalisa. Finally at 3:30 am we decided to keep quiet and sleep. Suddenly, we hear a sob. I asked who this is. To this the youngest one replied- “Didi, I am scared…” She held my hand very tightly, and I assured her that its past 12, and its next day and I have a fast today, so no bad soul would come near me today. She was a bit relieved till she again said “My mattress has slipped a bit.” and Sonia replied. “Chinki, Gudia is fasting, so ghost cannot come to her. But, he can contact you via floor. Direct contact.” Then, someone’s toenail struck in her dress and she shouted, “Someone is pulling my dress”. Oh my god!!! We had all sorts of myths applied to assure her that nothing would happen. But since we had discussed that ghosts appear from 1 am to 4:00 am, she didn’t let us sleep till 4:00 am. Finally, we went to sleep.

We had an amazing wedding. We were not very tired after the wedding but had only one problem – Its over!!! We still laugh our heart out about that scary movie spoof. Till date, the poor kiddo wants to shoot me in the head for stroking my toenail into her night dress.

Friends, this story may sound bit funny, but the reason I shared this is because all of us have become so busy in our professional and personal commitments, that we no more relish such small incidents. Take some time out and enjoy a day out or a night with your best friends, family, cousins and I can bet that you would fell fresh like a petal. Attend that cousins/friend’s wedding not just to have dinner and mark attendance, but to have a flood of happy memories. Have small get-togethers on festivals. We would have deadlines and commitments though out our lives, but I am sure we never need to take out time to celebrate festivals. We celebrate them irrespective of our busy schedules. So why not make some good use of that and refresh ourselves. Think about it.